I totes moved my diary of a fatty

I so forgot to move the tab or change it or whatever I am supposed to do to lead you to the Diary of Fatty blog. I decided that it really needed its own page because my fatness is just THAT awesome and well, I got tired of editing the ONE post like a bazillion times. So ... until I figure out how to change it so you can just click and they are really merged/connected as one ... www.banded052312.blogspot.com

funny thing is .. i was just RE-banded (long story, but you can find the answer if you follow the link) and so now it should be banded020113 LOL

I can't make this shit up yall!

Hope For The Weary Mom

I read the book the first time and then did the challenge. I love this book. They just came out with an extended version!

The NEW, expanded edition of Hope for the Weary Mom is FREE for Kindle for 48 hours! Grab it now! http://amzn.to/OXKOQs

#1 .. who doesn't love a FREE book

There really isn't a need for a #2!!

This book is full of inspiration. If you have a child, you can relate to this book at some point in your life.

What The What?!

So, it isn't THAT dramatic, but it has been a while since I have checked in. While I am checking in on my weight loss journal weekly since daily has become mundane, I do find it necessary to just take a step back and collect my thoughts. It isn't until you put it down on paper that you really "see" or get a sense of what you really have going on in your own world.  Since sharing my story here under my "diary of a fatty" tab, I have felt more open and honest than ever. I hid behind my fat and flaws for so long that they became my crutch and wall. Now that I am losing weight and have shared my story in all its raw glory, it seems that I am able to move forward and be the change I want to see in the world. I know that sounds a little cliche, but honestly, it wasn't until I wrote my story down and read it and re-read it that I was in awe of how far I have come and how my fat held me back for so long.  I feel more vulnerable and open now that I have put it out there for any and everyone to read, but most of all, for the first time ever I DON'T CARE what anyone has to think of where I was, where I have been or where I am going. This is my journey and for the first time in a long time, NO ONE can or will be able to make me feel inferior without my consent. It took me a long time to believe that. This journey has really just begun and there is still so much in store. If you haven't read my fat girl journey diary yet, it is worth the read. Of course, I am biased.  

There are so many things coming up this month and moving forward.

I am so honored and proud to announce that I am now part of the Forward Circle program with True Results. True Results is the place I went to get my Lap-Band done. After going to several aftercare meetings and seeing the posters on the wall about the Forward Circle program, I finally asked about it on my last visit. I contemplated and thought about it and overall just wanted to be more active in the Lap-Band community. I got the paperwork and after two weeks I sent it over. Long story short, now I can be part of the sharing community. I will share my story and be there to help with any questions or concerns from people that are interested in the Lap-Band surgery and those that have just had the surgery. I am just 4 months out from my surgery, but by not giving up and asking questions and checking in, I have already succeeded in my weight loss journey. I found myself looking for answers and support, so now I can BE that support! YAY!  I am so excited about this!  I love giving back! If you or anyone you know is interested in the Lap-Band surgery and would like more information or wants the REAL truth being that I have been through this and I don't get paid to tell you to do this or not do this, please feel free to share my information. You have questions, I have answers or I can get answers. Period. 

This is the pin that I got in the mail the other day! 

In other news, I am taking my last two classes online to finish my degree. It is just the two year degree, but I want to say that I finished something! God willing, I will graduate this December. Once I get this done, then I can reassess and will know how I handled being a single working and crafting mother to a rambunctious almost 4 year old boy. At some point I will have to remember that I can't do it ALL at one time, but will get everything I want to get accomplished one step at a time. 

I have gotten the expanded version of the book Hope for the Weary Mom  by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin.  I am going to delve in to this ebook that was sent to me, as the first time I read it there were several "ah-ha" moments and I felt like they were speaking straight to my heart and soul.  This book is so right on time and these women are phenomenal. Thank you ladies for allowing me to be one of the first to get my hands on this not yet released book! https://www.facebook.com/HopeForTheWearyMom

Being that holiday season is coming up, I have great crafting ideas in my head and I have begun to put them in to action. I need a vacation from my crafting addiction!!  Being that Justice is now in a daycare where the ladies really appreciate the things they are given, the craft ideas just seem to flow from my head to my hands and into reality. I can't wait to share the Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas crafts that I have in store for these teachers!  They are a blessing! 

I am still writing my monthly articles for Inner Child Magazine in the Family section. It is a honor and blessing to be a part of such a wonder family. I am able to share my journey with my son and somehow it all just works. Divine timing is all I can say. www.innerchildmagazine.com/family 

I am now a great aunt to the handsome Brayden. I am so glad that I am able to be a part of his life. 

Gosh, what else? Well, I am still pimping out Mary Kay. I don't do it like I should, so it isn't profitable for me and I am sure that my director could just strangle me sometimes, but I do still have stock that will soon be up for sell and ON SALE for the holiday season.  

I am walking in the Autism walk this year. If you care to donate to this cause, please click the link.  Thank you for your support. http://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=1012946&supId=358415728&msource=bfschedule

I am walking in the Diabetes walk this year. If you care to donate to this cause, please click the link. Thank you for your support.  https://donations.diabetes.org/site/Donation2?idb=1473531116&df_id=10905&FR_ID=8405&PROXY_ID=8087313&PROXY_TYPE=20&10905.donation=form1

Blog Hop

I decided to join in with The Mob Society and be apart of this awesome thing called  Boy Mom Blog Hop. 

I didn't join last year, but not because I didn't want to. I was still in a fog of depression and just going through the motions. A year's worth of coming out of the fog and here I am. 

About me:  Amber, 34. Single mom to Justice. Full time employee, full time mom and part time smart mouth. Okay, maybe a little more than part time, but I am working on it! I have worked full time at the same company since 1998. It has been a real growing experience and they are like family.  I also sell Mary Kay. I tried my hand at making earrings for a while, but just like with the Mary Kay, I don't push the products. The jewelry is a labor of love and the makeup is purely therapeutic for me.  I am in hopes that as my journey continues I will be successful in all my ventures. Lord knows that I need to sell some of the products in order to keep up my jewelry making and makeup ordering habit!  This single mom has to work hard for the money! 

It's me! Amber...nice to meet you!

A brief summary: I was born way back in yesteryear when .... no we don't need to go back that far. My life really began the moment I found out I was pregnant in May of 2008. It was also at that time that the father of my child showed his true self and no longer was the man I had known for 10+ years. Suddenly the thought of another child turned him stupid and our friendship and relationship went spiraling down to what is now three years later a series of bitter texts and jabs that are mostly from me to the man that used to be a really good friend and someone I could talk to. Now our conversations are filled with disdain and while I pray that we can have better communication skills for the sake of our son, I fear that I am the only one that wants to be cordial for the kids.  So here I am 3 1/2 years later and only getting child support because the court is making him pay back child support or he goes to jail. He is bitter and I am resentful. I pray that along this journey I will continue to grow and set a better example for my son. 

Justice is 3 1/2 (4 in December) and full of spunk. I have been working on getting him out of my bed. Just when I had him in his own bed, the apartment got cursed with bed bugs and suddenly mama's bed is the safe bed and he "gets scared" otherwise.  Justice has been getting in trouble quite a bit more lately. I am not sure if it has anything to do with him not seeing his brothers and father or not. He asks about his brothers and every Friday he says "i'm going to my daddy's house this weekend" when he tells someone what he is doing for the weekend.  For the last 2 months he hasn't gone. Not because I haven't let him, but because his father hasn't made the effort to come and get him.  I worry that I am just not enough for this little boy. I worry the example that his father is setting and I pray that my son will be a better man in the end. 

My sweet Justice

My blog: Well, it has a bit of this and that. I have tabs for the various things I write about. Different tabs for different moods I suppose. I have one for my weight loss journey, one for my dealings with the baby daddy, one for my articles I write for an online publication, one for the 21 Days of Prayers for Boys challenge and a few others that are hidden from view as they are for my private posting pleasure.  
I started my blog with the intention on having just the challenges and what not on here, but it has evolved into what I call my life at a short glance. I have found blogging the cheapest and most easy form of therapy.  I laugh, cry, spew sarcasm, cry and laugh some more with every time I reread the sections from the start to where I am now. It is amazing to read the transformations within me as I learn and grow. All along I am bettering myself so that I can be the best mom I can be for the only true love in my life which is my son Justice Christopher.  

I want to give a special THANK YOU to Brooke McGlothlin for sharing her passion of the word for our boys. She inspires me to aspire to be more and do more all the time. She gifts us with these awesome prayer calendars and they truly are priceless. We just have to remember to put them to good use!  Brooke, you have been an inspiration and a guiding light to me while I have been on my journey finding my way back to God after suffering the losses of my older sister (38) and my mother (55) in 2010.  You mean more to me than you will ever know and I thank you wholeheartedly for just you being you.  YOU ROCK! 

Training, Working Out .. the good hurt OH MY!

So, I started working out last week. By working out, I mean that I started doing cardio. I didn't want to just dive in to working with weights since I wasn't cleared to really work the abs (core) yet, and the last thing I want is to have a set back. I mean .. I have had 30 years of set backs and fat ass, so why help put myself back in the game. I signed up at the gym, I got a trainer for once a week (25 minute sessions), and I have made a deal with myself. If I can get to the gym 5 days a week for a month, I will let myself go to PF Changs (in Highland Village of course because I just love love love the atmosphere and decor and it makes me feel rich when I go there even though on most days I don't have two pennies to rub together) and get the seared Ahi Tuna I have been craving. I actually have been craving the vegetarian lettuce wraps too.
So, I started with my trainer "D" on Monday. I call him "D", because for the life of me I can't remember his name and well I would hate to call him out of his name when he is being not my friend and making me do exercises that hurt! He pushed me to do exercises that I didn't want to do. I know that I have thunder thighs. There is no misconception here. I know that my legs have more fat than muscle. So putting that stair step with 4 risers in front of me and telling me to step up on that thing is like telling me to cut off my legs! That shit hurts. I worry about doing it because my ankles have enough trouble holding up my body without the added stress of the step down from that high. The up hurts in my thighs and knees. The down is scary in my head due to the knee ache and ankles that are crying for me to stop the insanity. I did the exercises though. I am not paying for a friend. I am paying for someone to show me how to work myself and not get hurt. I am paying for training on how to do the exercises that will work for my body shape. The shape that looks like a hourglass with an extra wide middle (extra minutes we will call it). I am glad to be working out again. I missed it. I am glad to feel motivated again. For once, the motivation is within me and not guided by the eye candy and companionship that was working out with James. I am glad to have motivation that isn't geared around anyone else. It is nice. Now that I am starting to believe in myself and see that I can do this for myself and not to get someone else's attention, well I am feeling more inspired than ever!
I did Zumba on Tuesday and I wasn't the biggest one there and I wasn't the slowest and I wasn't the only one without coordination! YAY for that! Being self conscious has always been my downfall. I have always worried about what other people think about me. Weird though, because I really don't care what other people think, I just never wanted other people to look at me. Now I could give two shits. So nice to be in this place. It is a happy place where I am feeling good and soon the outside will match the beauty inside.
I haven't figured out how to make the Diary of a Fatty the main page so that when I do updates emails are sent out, but if someone knows how to do it, then please let me know. I like that the story is all there in one place, but I wish it was where I could update and it would just fall in line. Perhaps I need to seek a different website for this to work right. Blogging isn't my forte, but has been a great release for me.
If you like what you are reading or even if you don't, please leave a comment. Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Weight Loss Surgery ...Check... NOW WHAT??

So, in case you haven't been reading my Diary of a Fatty .. I HAVE had the Lap Band and now it is just a new learning experience. I also have started adding my monthly submissions to my blog under my writings. I am a contributing editor on in the Inner Child Magazine. I am learning so much about myself and in doing so, am finding my writing niche!
God is Great! Loving all the lessons this journey has lead me on!

Blogging Away!

So, I have decided that along with the 21 Days of Prayers for Boys, I am going to be blogging along my weight loss journey. I have been open and honest along my blogging and why should I stop now? I am not a celebrity like Star Jones, who felt it necessary to hide the fact that she had weight loss surgery. I want to share so that maybe one day my story will help someone else. Everyone has different circumstances and reasons for what and why they do what they do. I have a passion in my heart to help others and this will help me through sharing to help me grow. 
Feel free to check out the two new tabs on my page. The 2012 #21Days4Sons and the Diary of a Fatty - My Journey.